


Everyone is a Gamer

by tipplerdoeswords



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, a little bit of caustic bullying, a little bit of how to play overcooked, nintendo switch: fun with your murder buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 14:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18263174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tipplerdoeswords/pseuds/tipplerdoeswords
Summary: Pathfinder's squad gets together for some collaborative gaming. Octane shows up with some hot goss.





	Everyone is a Gamer

"Hello Gibraltar." said Pathfinder. "Thank you for joining us for our team building activity. I have a chosen a pleasant, collaborative, and engaging game for us to play."

Wraith flashed a peace sign over the back of the couch. She was sprawled over half of the cushions, clutching a pair of disposable chopsticks and fishing noodles out of a Styrofoam cup. Pathfinder sat primly facing the television.

Gibraltar walked over to Pathfinder, who offered him a bright green mini controller.

"Do you game? I can walk you through the rules and controls so that we maximize our likelihood of success." said Pathfinder.  

A booming laugh filled the room, echoing off the walls in a menacing cacophony. Pathfinder's fingers trembled around his controller.

"Do I game?" said Gibraltar. "DO. I. GAME?"

He sat down next to Pathfinder. "I do not game. Please show me how to play this game."

Wraith snorted into her instant noodles.

Pathfinder sat up straight, cheeriness restored. "Thank you for asking friend! Overcooked has simple controls, but is difficult in practice."

He showed Makoa his controller. "Use the joystick to move your character around the kitchen. When you encounter an ingredient, you can pick it up with 'x' and perform an action, such as cutting the vegetables, with 'y'."

They played through the tutorial round, where the only orders were onion soup. Makoa misplaced a few onions, but moved his character, a raccoon in a wheelchair, around with ease.

After beating a few rounds, Pathfinder started them on more complicated recipes. They were halfway through retrying the earthquake level when a panting figure skidded to a stop in the lounge.

"Hi Octavio." Wraith said.

The young man yelped in surprise and took cover behind the arm of the couch. He popped his head up to scan the hallways for pursuers.

"No one's coming." said Wraith, eyes on the TV as the squad prepared burgers. "What did you do?"

Octavio moaned into his hands and rocked back and forth on the thick carpet.

"The patty is done cooking." said Pathfinder. "I will deliver it to our customers."

"I'm running from--well I should start from the beginning--I was just streaming you know, practicing on my jump pad." said Octane.

"Can you get the dishes Wraith?" asked Makoa, brow furrowed in concentration as he struggled to grab the sliced onion on a counter full of other vegetables.

"And I see Bloodhound while I'm in the air. The fans love Bloodhound, so I run closer to where they are, kinda along the back wall of the gym."

"We need more lettuce." said Pathfinder. The robot maneuvered his character, an orange cat, to grab the pile of plates by the sink.

"Not only is Bloodhound there, but they have Caustic cornered against the wall. I can smell the drama even though I'm 100 meters away. I can taste the danger."

"Smells like pork chops." muttered Wraith.

The urgent beep of the game timer interrupted Octavio's story. He watched from his hiding spot as Gibraltar rushed to submit the last order. Pathfinder clapped in relief as the team earned two out of three stars.

"You were saying?" said Wraith. If she could get this hot gossip to Ajay before Octavio did, she would finally be able to die happy.

"Yeah, I'm sneaking up on them and I can barely make out what Bloodhound is saying but they sound pissed. They're snarling at Caustic and have a knife out."

Pathfinder and Gibraltar are listening in at this point. A cheery tune from the game played in the background.

"Caustic has his hands up, trying to talk with Bloodhound, but he looks over and they both see me so the only thing I can think to do is yell that I don't want to interrupt a couple's argument."

Octavio took a deep breath, basking in everyone's rapt attention. "Then Bloodhound's head snapped in my direction and I hear an honest to god growl and their eyes went kind of red and here I am."

Pathfinder tilted his head in confusion. "They growled and you were here?"

"The fight or flight response." Makoa said somberly. "You're welcome to stay here until you feel safe, brother."

Wraith frowned. "What were Bloodhound and Caustic talking about?" she said. Wraith needed the facts to impress Ajay unless she started her own speculation.

"Never found out." said Octane. "The internet is coming up with wild theories as we speak, bless them. Maybe I overreacted a bit but it seemed pretty serious."

"They were not having a couple's argument." stated Pathfinder, who was still catching up with the conversation.

Everyone except the MRVN winced in pain at the thought of anyone dating Caustic.

"There's room for one more, do you want to play Octane?" asked Wraith, handing him half of her two part controller.

"Yeah! I'm a great gamer, let's do this." said Octane. Wraith pulled her legs over the side of the couch so that Octane could sit.

After only a few minutes, Octane was cackling as Gibraltar shrieked that the rats were taking his chopped tomato. 

"Stay calm friends, we are almost done." said Pathfinder. The sweating emoji on his chest betrayed his panic. As Wraith grabbed the pot to stop the soup from burning, Pathfinder missed filling his bowl and trapped her between the tureen and the counter as he struggled to turn his character around.

They got one star, less than when they had tried the level with three people. Gibraltar was still muttering about the rats.

"Did you know there's a dash button?" said Wraith.

"Is there really?" said Octane, chin resting on spiked fist. "Pray tell."

Wraith opened her mouth to speak but stopped with a wince.

She raised her head and stared past him.

Octane froze.

All eyes were drawn to the bloody glove on Octane's shoulder.

Octavio turned his head slowly to look up at Bloodhound.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier, felagi." they said. "It is the laying season for local birds, and I was reminding Caustic not to be careless with his toxins, lest he poison these beautiful forests that surround us. I told him I would string him up by his entrails if I found reason to suspect him."

"No problem amigo. Good for you." Octane squeaked.

Bloodhound nodded and left without another word, leaving a smear of red on Octane's bare skin. There was a delicate silence.

"I think we can get at least two stars if we try again." said Pathfinder. "It helps to ignore the rats, Gibraltar. They can even help clear the counters of useless vegetables as long as you don't leave chopped vegetables alone for too long."

Gibraltar sighed. "If you say so. We will triumph over the enemy."

A tear in reality pulsed in the air where Wraith had been sitting. They heard Lifeline's rich laugh through the portal. 

"Oh no." Octane said. "She beat me to it."

 


End file.
